In the interest of public safety, for a limited time only we’ll be offering free removal of vampires from your home or property here in the Raleigh area.

As academic research and documentaries like Twilight have shown, vampires are a growing problem amongst humanity, leading to hundreds of bites and poorly-written television shows every year.

Here at Critter Control of the Triangle, we’re doing our best to combat the problem, and we’re happy to offer our animal removal services if you suspect a vampire might be in your midst. We’ll be using our state of the art vampire fighting tools, or just garlic and wooden crosses like in the movies.

Signs of vampires in your home include your family turning into vampires, coffins in your basement, and very good-looking Hollywood actors with powdered faces.

But just to be clear, we meant vampire bats. But you knew that anyway because it’s April Fools’ Day!

But, hey, seriously, we do great removal of bats from homes. Call us anytime!